Monday, December 1, 2014

Attack of the Parking Nazis. City Council Nanny State Totalitarians in Alabaster AL want to ban parking on your own grass.

"NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT ORDAINED by the Council of the City of Alabaster . . ."
WHEREAS, the City Council has determined that there has been an increase in residents within the City of Alabaster who continue to park vehicles in front yards, side yards, and other property; and WHEREAS, said parking of vehicles detracts from the City's vision of a clean and nuisance free environment for all neighborhoods within the City; and WHEREAS, the City of Alabaster has an obligation to provide for and ensure a nuisance free environment, enhance the beauty of neighborhoods within the City, and to prevent the diminution of value of residents' homes as a result of nuisances; and WHEREAS, the City of Alabaster finds that vehicles parked in the front or side yards or in areas surrounding a residence is detrimental to the general welfare, safety, peace of mind, aesthetic and property of others and tends to cause substantial diminution in the value of the property upon which the vehicles are parked as well as the property in the neighborhood in which such premises are located. NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT ORDAINED by the Council of the City of Alabaster . . .
No person shall park on private property any motor vehicle in a front or side yard on any lot or parcel in any residential district of the City when said lot or parcel has an existing driveway, except in or on a driveway as defined herein. The presence of a motor vehicle on private property other than in a lawfully permitted driveway as referred to above is hereby declared to be a public nuisance which shall be abated as such in accordance with the provisions of this article or as is otherwise provided by law.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Government dismisses private property, claiming to own every square inch of it everywhere.

Suddenly, whereas green grass has been deemed a nuisance, anyone with green grass shall be fined in excess of their property value, each day, until no green grass exists in front sides and or back yards.

How is this "authority" any different from what they claim over cars? Answer - NO different.

Had enough yet?

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to the advent of tall brick fences in Alabaster, AL. Neighbors can't complain about what they can't see. Does Herr Parking Nazi have a search warrant to go climbing the fence for a peek, as doing so would presumably go beyond any "plain view" doctrine?

#OREGON HOBO#

Joe said...

If you're want to annoy the parking Nazis, go first class. I'd suggest a seriously rusted-out Yugo, parked right on the front lawn.

Helpful Hint: It's really difficult to tow away a junked car when all four wheels have been removed. But isn't that why they made concrete blocks in the first place ?

Don't forget to trim your new lawn display off with pink plastic Flamingos.

Anonymous said...

I have one answer to garbage like that: REMOVE the property from the tax rolls and they have NO jurisdiction over your PRIVATE property anymore. That's what this fellow is doing for people in Florida:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFkULHuyl50&list=PLA854EDA149351BBB

Takes listening to a few times to get all of what he's saying, but well worth the time. This is one way to "take back our country" from the corporations. Make it cost the cities and counties where it hurts - in their pocketbook.

Mad Magyar

Anonymous said...

Get your nose out of my backyard, Sturmfuhrer ... I'll park my Gran Torino where ever I please on my own property!

III

Carl Stevenson said...

Phuq the petty tyrants!

Anonymous said...

I bet those that make and grade gravel drives, are going to see an increase in business.
tayronachan

Dakota said...

Well the only thing to do is do one of the following: cover front yard with concrete, cover front yard with asphalt, or for the poorer folk cover front yard with gravel. HAW!!

Therefore said yard is now not in fact a yard but a driveway, parking area.

Anonymous said...

So pave the entire front and side yard and park anywhere you god damn well please!

Christian Patriot III said...

Hm. Some enterprising fella with a tow truck might start towing the vehicles of the lords of Alabaster and leaving them on their respective front lawns.

C. S. P. Schofield said...

I'm busy. I have a sick wife (chronic) and I'm getting creaky. Nevertheless, if I lived in Alabaster AL, I think I would find the most revolting, clapped-out piece of junk I could buy, paint it a poisonous pink and yellow, and "park" it right in the middle of my front lawn. Then, when they cane to pester me about it, I'd say it was an Art emplacement, and if they tried to make me move it I would see about getting them charged for violating my First Amendment rights.

And a fun time would be had by all.

Anonymous said...

Those fine folks on the City Council need to learn the hard way how well KUDZU will grow in their own front yards. Using a fine sprayer with some Roundup or Crossbow works great for writing special messages on Councilman's lawn.

Anonymous said...

"Yard parking" is a hallmark of households with a couple dozen Mexican or Central Americans "undocumented guest workers" residing in them.

You know them - those good folks who come from down south, up here for the jobs Americans won't do (because they pay $3 an hour). You can find them at your local hospital ER, where they bring their unvacinated children to infect everyone in coughing distance with the newest plague, while skipping out on the bill. And thanks to your generous taxes, they are provided with EBT cards that let them eat far better in this country than you likely do - on YOUR dime. And if you're ever involved in a car crash with one, well, don't even THINK about making a claim against their insurance, lolz. But hey, maybe one day your kids will be able to speak with thier kids, since they teach Spanish as a primary language in many latino-heavy areas.


So maybe, just maybe, the good folks on the city council of Alabaster MIGHT be trying to look out for the best interests of their own, and trying to subtley head off a growing problem.

Not everything is always what it seems, guys.

I personally would apllaud a "naziesque" move like this, because it means at least someone recognizes the threat.


Wake up, guys.

Randall said...

It apears the librels have invaded Alabaster, Alabama.
As a resident here, we need all the help we can to defeat the parking police. if you live in the area come show up to help us voice our opesition to this Bull shit. pls
pls show up at tghe city counsel meeting Monday Dec 8, 2014 we should start arriving around 5pm


see alabaster has a ordnance banning open carry of a fire arm, they just dont enforce it or enforce it selectivly.

Anonymous said...

Don't agree with the edict but, they do have an unchecked immigrant influx down there; they're usually guilty when specific problems such as this arise. Should be easy enough to solve but city is unwilling, so.....

Anonymous said...

But, where will the illegals park? With 20 of them living in a 2 bedroom house, where, oh where will they park?
It's racist! Discriminatory! Unfair!
Someone call Holder & Obama!

Cederq said...

Mike, there might be a silver lining... mexicans can't buy or rent a house and invite all their relatives and coworkers to live there and park 20 junkie cars all over the place.... But I am only being snarky. Fluck the city council! You property, your rules...

Anonymous said...

Hey Anon 7:50 pm, you caught their little magic trick very well. They use terms like "resident" because the meaning of the word in a law dictionary means someone who is only passing through on some sort of business. The correct term for someone's home is "domicile". People have been told they are "residents" for so long that they don't know the real meaning of the word. It's that kind of word smithing that makes all BAR attorneys in Gov't candidates for the gallows pole. Everyone should watch video's by Michael Badnarik, Carl Miller & Eddie Craig to get educated on these topics. One great website is "National Liberty Alliance" as they have all these and more rolled up unto one website.

Anonymous said...

OOOOPS.
Pave it all over? Might wanna check and see - most municipalities have already "covered" that angle. They have already "whereased" that by limiting, as a percent, how much concrete a person can pour upon their property.

So no, paving it over isn't the answer.
The answer rests in challenging government officials as to the MEANING of property pins and deeds! Are they simply the terms by which they tax and whom they tax? Indeed.
As for taking it off tax rolls - that is only successful In limited circumstance. First, there can be no mortgage and second, the property must be in a totally UNINCORPORATED area.
So the only true resolution here is to directly confront government as I said - get elected officials to explain private property. Hell, look at business! They are charged property tax as if private property but then run by gubmint as if public places (guns cigarette smoking etc etc. we gotta ADMIT that there really is no private property before we can fix the overstepping government problem.

PO'd American said...

Are you sure these are folks from the city council? Sounds striking familiar to the Condo Commandos in South Florida!! I think a previous commentor had it right...just make up a sign that says "Lawn Art, Protected by the 1st Amendment. Alabaster City Council go FVCK Yourselves." Might look for someone with a Septic Tank Pumper Truck needing a temporary parking spot.

PO'd American said...

Just a question here, what kind of a POS loser city attorney does this place have?

Oregon Hobo said...

Riffing on the idea from C. S. P. Schofield, one could paint the car green, and stencil it with all manner of pithy quotes from the Koran. If one has enough property not to genuinely annoy any neighbors (or alternatively if your neighbors are the type of people who support the City Council's edict), maybe rig a timer under the hood to honk out a call to prayer 3 or 5 times a day, depending on whether your automobile is Shiite or Sunni.

Then when you get heat for it, complain to CAIR, call in the local MSNBC and CNN offices, and sic the DOJ on the Alabaster City Council for violating your religious freedoms, disrespecting the Prophet, blah de blah blah. For extra points, make sure to start growing out your beard early in the game.

Just spitballing here...

#OREGON HOBO#

Scott J said...

Alabaster has a bit of a history of disrespecting property rights http://www.thelibertypapers.org/2009/03/18/eminent-domain-alabama-style/

Anonymous said...

Banning parking on your grass in Alabama seems downright un-American!

Anonymous said...

Hell, you can be fined for parking a vehicle in your front yard in the city limits of Birmingham. It has been that way for several years. Guess what, I agree with that ordinance. Many homes in Birmingham are tenant-occupied.

One reason I agree with that law is that most homes have a water line coming from a meter near the street through the front yard to supply the house. A car parked on top of that line can break the line and flood the neighborhood, to say nothing of the amount of the next water and sewer bill. If the tenant does not pay the bill, the property owner must. Also, the tenant is not destroying his grass, but the owner's grass by parking on it.

Paul X said...

Maybe the city council is going to experience another public nuisance, a brick flying through their windows. Think they will get the message?

Anonymous said...

I thought Alabama was a part of the South? Guess they spiritually moved north of the line eh?